The February sun warms my back in San Francisco. This is noteworthy, of course, because I come from the land of grey skies and soggy winters. Millions upon millions of Americans spend the entirety of their existence in a constant state of psychic distress with the weather. These huddled masses live in a region called the Mid-Atlantic. The states that comprise this ecologically oppressed region include Virginia, Maryland, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York (excluding some smaller geographical oddities not worth mentioning). Every person born into this part of the world is taught that the Earth goes through “seasons”. As children, these people draw colorful crayon art depicting some romantic ever-changing Disney fairy tale of their local habitat. These fables of blossoming flowers, playful beaches, colorful leaves, and soft snows quickly dissipate when contextualized against the harsh, humid, unrelenting, smoggy, choking, slog that is the Mid-Atlantic solar cycle. Residents of these magical lands are strapped to a slow moving torture wheel.